Why We Stay in Toxic Relationships

(Even When We Know We Should Leave)

If you’re living with a toxic partner, chances are you’ve asked yourself this question more times than you can count: Why am I still here?

You know it’s not working. You feel it in your gut. You’ve played out a hundred scenarios of leaving in your mind. And yet… something keeps you stuck.

Here’s the truth: leaving isn’t just about walking out the door. It’s about untangling yourself from the hope, the fear, the what ifs, and the version of this relationship you once believed in.

1. We Hold On to the Potential, Not the Reality

There were good times. There were promises. There were moments where you thought, Maybe this can still work. But loving someone’s potential will keep you in a cycle of disappointment. A relationship isn’t built on what could be—it’s built on what is. And if what is makes you feel drained, anxious, or like a shadow of yourself, it’s time to face that truth.

2. The Fear of the Unknown Feels Bigger Than the Pain of Staying

The idea of leaving feels massive. Where will you go? How will you start over? Will you regret it? Fear tells you it’s safer to stay where you are, even if it’s painful. But what if the unknown isn’t the enemy? What if it’s the path to peace?

3. We’ve Been Conditioned to Tolerate Discomfort

How many times have you told yourself, It’s not that bad? We minimise, justify, and tolerate—because that’s what we’ve learned to do. But at what cost? Staying in something that erodes you, just because you’ve gotten used to it, isn’t strength. Real strength is choosing yourself.

4. We Think Leaving Means We Failed

Walking away doesn’t mean you failed. It means you learned. It means you grew. It means you chose to stop fighting for something that stopped fighting for you.

So, What Now?

If you live together and you’re ready to leave, you need a plan:✔️ Be clear and firm. No more blurred lines. No more “one more chance.” You’re done.✔️ Set a deadline. If they need to leave, tell them when. If you’re leaving, make a plan and stick to it.✔️ Protect yourself. If they manipulate, guilt-trip, or lash out, don’t engage. Get support, involve someone you trust, and don’t go back just because it’s uncomfortable.

You Deserve More—And I Can Help You Get There

Breaking free from a toxic relationship isn’t just about leaving—it’s about rebuilding your confidence, your happiness, and your life. This is what I help my clients do every day. If you’re ready to take that step, let’s talk. You don’t have to do this alone. 💛

Email me caronproctor@me.com

Love love Caron xox