When It All Felt Too Much, This One Shift Brought Me Back to Life

The Problem with Focusing on Problems

We’ve all been there, haven’t we?

There was a time, not too long ago, when I truly believed the problems I was facing might break me.

When my marriage ended, I was swallowed by fear. I worried I’d be alone forever. That I was too old, too broken, and that without the security of shared finances, I’d never truly be okay again.

It was a storm I didn’t feel prepared for.

And yet — that storm became my awakening.

Back then, I thought my life was falling apart. What I didn’t know was that it was quietly, divinely, rearranging itself.

Over the past six years, I’ve come to live life on my terms.

I’ve met people I never would have crossed paths with before.

I’ve deepened my connection with my sons in a way I didn’t know was possible.

And I’ve reconnected to my roots, to my beautiful family in the UK, with more presence and love than ever.

I’ve done things I didn’t think were available to me.

Experienced moments I never imagined.

Laughed louder. Loved deeper.

And discovered that some of the best chapters begin with uncertainty.

But back then, all I could see were the problems.

I felt stuck, constantly replaying the things that had gone wrong.

Worrying about what might happen next.

Trying to fix, rescue, solve, or simply survive.

And here’s the truth that gently unfolded for me, over and over again:

Focusing on the problem becomes the problem.

When all our energy is aimed at what’s wrong, we miss what’s right.

We miss what’s possible.

Our minds are magnificent — they follow the lead we give them.

So if we keep handing them problems, they’ll stay stuck in loops,

trying to untangle things that may not even be ours to carry.

These days, problems still visit me, as they do all of us.

 But I no longer feed them with fear.

 I don’t try to wrestle them to the ground.

 Instead, I pause. I breathe. I ask:

✨ What’s still working?

 ✨ What feels right, even just a little?

 ✨ Where’s the light sneaking through the cracks?

What I’ve learned is this:

•  You don’t need to fix everything to move forward.

•  You don’t need a perfect plan to take the next step.

•  What you need is a shift in focus.

•  A pause. A breath.

•  A soft turning towards possibility.

Start there, love.

Focus on your energy.

Protect your peace like it’s gold.

Nourish what lifts you — even if it’s just a hot coffee and five minutes of stillness.

Remember what matters to you.

Your values. Your heart. Your quiet wisdom.

That’s your compass.

And if you don’t know what to do yet, that’s okay.

Just focus on the next kind thing you can do for yourself.

The next honest breath.

The next loving thought.

Because when we stop feeding the problem, we make space for something new to grow.

So here’s my gentle invitation.

Don’t get stuck trying to be the hero of every storm.

Be the one who says “fuck it,” holds her heart steady, and trusts there’s more possibility, more light, more stardust.

You are not your problems, my love.

You are the possibility.

Let me show you how xox

Email me today. Caronproctor@me.com

Love Caron